New Year’s Resolution: Be More Awesome/Rock Harder
One part of my about ten part new years resolution is getting the blog atleast close to daily updates again… slackers at work rejoice!
Subjects Covered:
Working Overnight
IL Political Situation
JMU “Rain Man” Mike
7-11 and How i run my errands
Chris Berman Is Back
NFL
So i had two trucks last night…i’m not sure but i think i’ve finally figured out what’s going on with my distribution center (the people that send me trucks)…I’m pretty sure they have a ‘Fuck Rudy’ button….Rudy has just relaxed from the 4th quarter he thinks its all over…ALL HANDS ON DECK…make sure to throw some KY on these trucks cuz he’s about to get fucked…again…I am the DC’s Whore…Seriously…2 trucks is a promise of a 12 hour day at minimum…i should have been there until 9 until my overnight manager Scott decided to jump on the grenade…For fuck’s sake…this makes no sense…Also, most of my team works two jobs…so guess what…around 6am (that’s right while you get up a little TOO early before your shift…realize its too cold to get up and piss and then go back to sleep for two more hours…)i’m having a fucking crisis in my store, everyone has to start leaving so they can get an hour of sleep before their next shift…and how can i honestly look at sweet hispanic women that work their asses off and tell them…’well sorry no sleep for you…now back to work!’ My team’s awesome i’m not gonna do that…It’s just time to realize i get paid good money because i’m my company’s bitch…Yeaaaaaah more physical labor… See while the most physical labor you may have at your job is deciding where to walk to lunch….on any given night an overnight manager can physically unload the truck…pull the pallets (stacked about 7 feet or so high) to their spot on the floor….carry the boxes from the pallets to their specific aisle…stock those boxes…clean up the trash…take the leftover stuff that doesn’t fit on the shelves (backstock) to the backroom…and then finally put that stuff into the stockroom…all before listening to the opening manager complain about how little sleep they got…or how they had to stay up late to watch their favorite movie or something…oh shit! Sorry…sorry you had to be part of society for an extra hour…now if you’d excuse me i’m due to get some awkward stares at 7-11 for an early morning beer purchase.
This leads me to my next thought…
Working overnight leads to very questionable purchases…i want to be healthier…seriously i do…but imagine if everything was closed until 11PM for you…would you still feel like going to the grocery store or running errands…on a work night…i’m guessing probably not…and see this is a daily dilemma for me…cuz i could run all the errands i need to but then i have to switch my sleep schedule around…
So what this leads to is buying way more things than i should at 7-11…this starts at the least alarming, which is buying alcohol…a very limited…overpriced selection of alcohol…but you pay for the ease of purchase…but there should be a discount if you buy beer before noon on a weekday…cuz people look at you like you’ve just murdered their whole family in the parking lot…cleaned up and decided you needed to grab some beer for your get away.
But the alarming part comes from my food purchases…most people look at the things spinning on the rollers and think to themselves “who the fuck would eat that grade F hobo shit”
Well me and the two homeless people and the potential illegals in 7-11 are staring at those rollers just waiting..PRAYING…HOPING that mystery meat is up to temperature…Although it causes instant heartburn nothing beats the quick service and satisfaction you get out of a cheese injected cheeseburger big bite…or perhaps the assorted tacquitos….or like today one of they shotty egg sandwiches…i’ll make a deal with you…i bet the only time you would ever consider digesting this bile is when you are drunk and 7-11 is the only place open…for ME??? This is a meal CHOICE.
My car is 4000 miles over for an oil change…it took me over a month to get a haircut (and if you read the previous blog you saw how that went)…I have to pay rent today…mail out my car payment…
Ok maybe the last two are just my fault…well…working overnight and being a procrastinator probably isn’t the best combo…but whatever.
Oh…speaking of bills…my old gym…like ’07 old just tried to charge my card for $370….WHAT!?!? Did you think i was such a fucking workhorse (seeing as though i hadn’t been there since i lived in manassas well over a year and a half ago) that you think you could charge me after the fact…trying to give me a sense of nostalgia? Trying to tell me something! I get it World Gym…you say i’m out of shape…well i say you’re out of line…good luck getting your money…
I like how are politicians are supposed to be helping us get things brought into law and refine the system we currently have…yeah this is fucking hilarious…
The Gov. of IL i’m not even going to attempt to spell his name got caught…ON FUCKING TAPE…basically selling senate seats…hmmm…apparently he has been arrested..but how are you arrested but still hold your job…i’m not sure but if i told people on my team…there is a management slot open…and i’m not saying its for you…but there are a few cds i’d like to listen to and if anyone could make them materialize i’d sure remember that….Seriously? I’d be fired the SECOND human resources got wind of it….THE SECOND…meanwhile this big ‘ol d-bag is being told to ‘resign’. Politicians are saying…oh have class…resign…What? Class…have you seen what he has committed but you just expect him to suddenly say…My bad…i’m done…give it to the next guy….Here’s a new law to enact…if you commit a CRIME and are supposed to represent the government of the US and its people…you’re fucking DONE SON!!! How are we supposed to have faith in our government at this time when the people in power can just do whatever the fuck they want…us little people are hit with the depression…fuck it…stop calling it a recession…its awful and its lasting atleast for 2009 from what all the smart people are predicticating. But i guess it’s not officially a depression until all the people in the good ol boys club are hit…I think Obama’s dog should be an attack dog…blind fold it…drench all members of congress’ genitals with different animal scents…the ones that still own testicles go on…the rest are banished to Mexico. Atleast that would help weed out some of them. Then Arnold gets changed to Sgt at arms of Congress…anyone he even suspects of thinking about corruption gets pummeled no questions asked…and thus our government is reformed…
US government…if you wish to nominate me for the nobel prize or any other high honor…just leave a comment
JMU Mike might as well be called Rain Man Mike….This guy knows the capitals of countries you’ve never heard of…don’t even try to test it..he will embarass you which is hard because you never thought you even cared to know obscure world capitals…well he’ll do it as long as People’s Court is on…Cuz he’s “gotta see judge wopner…definitely gotta see judge wopner…definitely definitely gotta see judge wopner”
Chris Berman had a great call…Ravens Vs. Dolphins… Ron (in a palin impression) He’s a Maverick McClain goes in for a TD! Nice to see you’re back Berman…
Ant congrats on your birds winning in the 1st round
Pirate Mike: Congrats on VT winning a game that when looking preseason should have just been a normal game on the schedule…way to go tech? How can you feel good that you whole season culminates with a win over an OK team…that’s what i don’t like about college football…its like its a whole league that bought way to many ‘good effort’, ‘participation’, and ‘4th place’ awards and now they have to do something with them….oh look Notre Dame won a game…..Give em a bowl…fuck they sure did try…fat ass charlie Weiss even gimped around for a whole two games for only 50 million dollar or whatever insane amount of money they gave him.
Its funny thomas jones insulted brett favre after the season was over…any reason why you set a career high in rushing yards??? Oh maybe its because teams were too busy worrying about the best quarterback to play the game to worry about your marginal rushing skills…
Did you forget last season? You know the season where the Jets paid you and you produced just about nothing?
I didn’t…what i do remember is you rushing yards sucking for about the first half of the season…until favre started slinging TD passes all over the fucking place and then when they played off you started getting the ball.
Good luck when Favre’s gone…we’ll see who you bad mouth next.
I’m seeing the CAPS play the FLYERS tuesday night…fucking awesome…i’m not getting laid now…and seeing Ovie play is basically the next best thing…
Wow…i’m spent.
Rudy's Nocturnal Admissions 