What really happened to our economy…

March 30, 2009 at 9:59 am (Uncategorized) (Civil War, Dating, Economy, finance, friendship, funny, Hook, humor, humorous, men, NASDAQ, Native Americans, Pockets, politics, random, recession, Relationships, retail, Sarcasm, Sarcastic, stock market, testosterone, Vikings, wall street, War, women, work)

So my idea relating to the economy..yet another theory.

This one is based off of myths and lore from yesteryear.

I’m speaking of course of the NASDAQ Indians.

Now you see before Columbus landed in North America…Vikings landed first…and what they found was the largest tribe of Native Americans ever known…only problem…no artifacts…or people survived the epic fights…

The Vikings pillaged and burned…burned and pillaged…and threw in some rape for good measure.  They went to their capital city (right around modern day new york) and demanded to speak to the chief.  They had heard that this tribe was blessed with unfathomable amounts of gold and treasure.  When the chief couldn’t present the gold…the vikings got angry.  Sven (their leader) demanded their riches.  Blackfoot (the NASDAQ leader) explained to them that their gold was in fact legendary, but that it wasn’t in money, but in friendship…community..and culture… This angered Sven…he wiped out the entire people as well as anything proving their existence.  Before Blackfoot died however, he told Sven…that he or any other person would suffer the NASDAQ’s great revenge if anyone ever encroached on their land again…whoever built on their land would be robbed of all of their money…as ironic payback from when they were robbed of their own ‘gold’.. Just so happens that is where Wall St. currently resides.he said the curse for settling on his land would strike 793 years from that point…guess what year it was…yup you guessed it…1215.  No wonder it showed its ugly head in 2008.  

However a small force of people were later discovered…very distant descendants of the NASDAQs they were said to have been turned white from the purity of their distant ancestors….so white that they would need “SPF 500″ not to burn….they founded the S&P 500 . Rich…up tight…and not willing to change much…comfortable with their entrenchment in society.

I don’t think these are too many coincidences to ignore…

In response…we launch a ‘pocket sized’ attack. Send Pockets out feeling faces…asking each one…”Is that you?” eventually he will find our country’s Peter Pan.

Oh and the Civil  War? didn’t happened….why would the call us “The UNITED States of America” if we were two separate entities at one time… dummies. 

More stuff about women…

So more dates falling through without any reason given….it would be a lot easier if the girl just said…yeah i’m not interested…but things are going good…next thing i know…just complete cut off of communication.

Anyways…

Why is acceptable for a woman to condemn certain friends a man hangs out with…or certain hobbies or activities that she doesn’t like…but it is completely out of bounds for a man to do the same.  When you stop a guy from hanging out with his guy friends he doesn’t get to have ‘testosterone time’ so he is more likely to not believe to behave like a caveman for a sustained period of time.  Without this necessary burnoff the girlfriend is likely to feel most of the repercussion.  Don’t be surprised if he now only wants to ‘watch the game’ and wont pay attention to you when you talk to him.  

Let him drink some beer…hang out with the guys…play video games…it will only be good for you in the end.

But yeah like i was saying…if I were to tell a girl flat out “i don’t like friend X I don’t want you hanging around them anymore” I would be labeled and insensitive dick. A girl does it…no nevermind demands it…or takes the backdoor approach. “I’m not saying you can’t hang out with him…I don’t want you to lose a friend…but i just don’t like being around him”.  But from what i’ve experienced (maybe its just because for the majority of relationships i’ve had the girls have been pretty clingy) it just leads to a huge fight or face losing a friend.  But i guess what my point is…is that i haven’t heard a guy friend say…you can’t hang out with your friend…but i’ve heard of plenty of examples of this coming from girls…I don’t know what really gives them the right sometimes (i’m not saying its all women…just saying it happens).  For as much as its said that it is supposed to be a partnership…and women want to be treated like equals…some women really are just looking for an opening to try and change their man and/or impose their will on them.

Another inequality. Have you ever heard the “why can’t guys buy me drinks at the bar” argument.  I’ve had it a few times….”its harmless…i’m not going to do anything..i’m with you…blah blah blah”….My perspective is that i don’t care if you don’t do anything…the guy’s intention isn’t innocent…and you know that, you are getting yourself in a questionable situation.  Plus what would happened if i said “hey, I’m gonna go out with the guys and buy girls drinks.”  I’m pretty sure it would be a little bit different of a response. 

I know i don’t have a lot of room to bitch…but bitch is what i’m about to do.  I managed to dodge a lot of the effects of the economy until this month…and it was like that fucker was just standing behind me doing everything i was doing…I feel like elmer fudd…i’m spining around to see who is behind me but the ‘waskly wabbit’ is spinning with me still behind me making fun of me…when i finally catch him he plants a kiss on me and my bell shapped rifle misfires in my face….yeah that’s what its like…i was banking on an extra 8000 a year…got almost 2000 instead…it would be ok if it was spaced out…but here’s how it went….bunch of long days working in a row…find out i’m not getting the initial 10% raise….keep working….keep working…spirit gets battered…and when i’m a beaten man…here is your annual raise…the lowest you’ve had out of any year out of college.

That being said i realize to those not getting raises or without jobs…that i seem like a dick…but i’m just typing what i’m thinking…

End Blog Transmission.