Working to live…or living to work?
So…right now i’m feeling more like i’m living to work…not working to live..and that sucks..I came to this realization last night. I am overly bored on my days off…I am running out of things to do, and right now my damn hand is keeping me from doing anything too productive. Well atleast as far as the guitar and lifting is concerned..i know what you’re thinking…Rudy you say you’re going to get back to the gym about every other week..but i actually was until i started working 14 hour days again…and now over the last few days off…i’ve realized i can’t wait for golf again…and i’m going to do whatever i can to get outside a lot more when its nice out. The reason being…no one should live to work…and right now i feel like i’m only sleeping in so that i’m not tired for work not because i enjoy it.
Last night…i literally sat on the couch pissed off for about 2 hours watching the same sports center over and over again because i just didn’t know what to do. I had no clue…run errands…nope…its 4 in the morning….hang out with people? nope its 4 in the morning….nothing else is on TV nothing is DVR’d…its dark out…nothing is open. Fuck….what a waste of a day. I find that right now i don’t like work…so i’m psyched to get home…only to be disappointed with the fact that I have no clue what it is I was so excited about in the first place. I’m trapped between two walls of hatred…and honestly its turning me into a person i don’t want to be. I’m not an angry person…but i’ve been pissed for every day except for last Sat for about a week or two now. I’m on edge and likely to either start bitching or give you shit for no reason…and it sucks…I wish I could just break out of this…FUUCK!
Anyways, part of this is because i got a call letting me know that some employee was bitching about all sorts of shit that “I haven’t done” ..thing is she is a huge gossiper and just makes it her life goal to try and stir the pot. In reality i’ve been working hard to try and make a bunch of small changes and be a better manager…but you have one of these ‘chat sessions’ for the team to talk to HR and you are bound to have a hypocrite or two spout off. Fuck em…seriously…and funny thing is…i’m the only manager in the building that knows the ins and outs of their and everyone else’s positions right now…so i know they really aren’t about to say shit to me….King Kong ain’t got shit on me….i’m gonna grow out a full goatee and start wearing a black skullcap and leather coat and training ethan hawk the ways of overnight…
My friends are cool people though…i can’t imagine trying to get through this possibly 3 year long overnight stint without such great friends. There are pictures of me in the living room…people cheer when i hang out….they keep relatively quiet during the day…and even try to hang out late with me on my days off.
Have you seen Jon Stewart’s destruction of Jim Cramer yet?? I know its a little old now…but holy shit…watch that interview…he just completely levels poor Jim Cramer…No matter how he runs his show now its gonna be called Mad Money just because he’s pissed he agreed to the interview…His head is drooping the whole time..eyes bulging out a little…everytime Stewart said something it looked like he was kicking a Pug Puppy (cramer) in the teeth. He was almost crying a few times…and everytime Cramer started to try and dig himself out of a hole the Daily Show would hit him with another clip showing how he was just completely contradicting what he had just said…
Only thing about that though….Jon Stewart kept on saying…’big wigs’ or ‘rich people’ like so and so….Jon Stewart…you are rich too and you can’t get on Jim Cramer for finding a niche in the financial television market when you work your only anger as the anchor of a fake news show….He’s intelligent…i’m just saying…stewart and colbert always win arguments because when all else fails recoil back into your funny guy shtick…its like he says…oh you’re a retard and you’re wife is a whore and when they fire back they go “oh pick on the innocent funny guy why don’t you”. I mean don’t get me wrong it makes great TV…i just think its dumb when the funny anchors say they have no power when they have tons of viewers and the ability to destroy a person’s career. And the thing for the people that go on the shows…its a huge Catch 22…you’ve been called out publicly to appear…so if you don’t you look like a coward and/or a lier…if you do…kiss your self-respect and public opinion goodbye.
Lost is the worst show on TV…i’m just glad i found that out after one episode unlike the suckers that have been watching it for like 8 seasons now. Polar bears don’t live in jungles…there aren’t smoke monsters….the problem is the same thing that initially seemed so cool. Atleast the first couple seasons the writers wrote the scripts weekly…so you get awesome M. night shamalyan twists…bad part is…you also get M Night ‘The Happeneing’ sort of twists…but since it is a series you have to commit to it. Oh wait though, that’s when they get you suckers again…this time with time travel and dream sequences….I mean i know at this point it is kind of like an investment…you might as well ride it out…its crashed through the floor but shit…its already gone this low…you have to hold on just for that simple fact that it may skyrocket back up with a fantastic finish.
How is American Idol still on TV…another show i don’t watch because i see 30 second snips of it and it is the same everytime. Crappy singer good personality crying and Simon tells them they are big giant craps….then paula slurs a few words together smiles and gives a thumbs up…Randy uses some slang to show everyone he is in fact both black and in touch with today’s youth. Give it a fucking break…America you have fallen in another trap as this show keeps on pumping out manufactured star after manufactured star and you feed them millions. Lets just call up Carson Daily (he can’t be doing much…is his show even on) he gets to fight Seacrest for corny host supremacy and that will decide whether american idol will merge with MTV and bring TRL back from the dead…or combine E! News, TMZ, and American Idol. Watch out though because watching that show is like performing an at home do it yourself lobotomy.
I’m horrible at Street Fighter II. I’m at the same level i was at when i was 5 years old playing that shit. I got my ass handed to me over and over again last night. But it did make me realize how much fun you could have off of the simple old forumlas of old video games. I also enjoy the fact that the Street Fighter video games are just one huge list of stereotypes. Ryo Japanese does karate and is bare foot, Guile flat top american looks like a d-bag, E-Honda fat sumo type hanging in a bath house, Vega…gay spaniard, Dee Jay Jamaican guy with dreads and ability to break dance, Blanca hairy brazilian with power to electrocute any foe unless countered with a sweep (that felt like finding the holy grail when you were a little kid when you finally found out how to beat your cheap friend that just mashed on the punch button and had a great time watching you get electrocuted over and over again). Also, i like that it is geared to the video game nerds that have never seen a real live naked woman. The 2 or 3 girls in the game have huge racks and Cammy wears next to nothing and shows off her ass after wins….This has gained her the new name Cammy Toe.
And if girls respond…just another way women are objectified…try this on….You say you want sensitive guys but lets be honest if you had guys just sitting around watching P.S. I love you all day with you….you’d dump his ass…or atleast think he’s gay. Some girls will say…”I hate it when guys feel like they have to pay for everything” my experience with that is…i’ll pay for 99% of dates…the one date i don’t pay for they get pissed….what happened to the hatred before? That’s right…I feel girls wishing for sensitive guys are more just airing the grievances about the differences between men and women than stating what they actually want. Lets face it…if i made now money, pulled up on a moped, suggested splitting the cost of a date, wanted to watch confessions of a shopaholic, and then suggested cuddling before possibly ‘making love’ you’d throw up. Now obviously this my point of view…as a guy…but i feel like…Women want to feel like women…they want to see their guy as someone strong and has the ability to be barbaric if called on to protect them…and as a man if you’re not able to actually ‘fuck’ your girlfriend and really give it to her every once in a while…you’re probably having great conversation…but she’s probably also going to start shopping around at least for some dick on the side. And women…give a blow job just because every once in a while…get you guy a beer…let him feel like a guy…if you know they like that shit…then spread the fucking wealth…everyone will be happy if both people can actually make them feel like they actually are.
(I went off on that tangent thanks to a post by Amber H. on http://www.eleganteeloquence.com)
…Done
Rudy's Nocturnal Admissions 