Return of the king! (of mediocre blog posts)
Ok…first of all i want to apologize…you showed me love…you showed me support and as you sat there…mouth open like a bunch of needy baby birds instead of regurgitating some sustenance i shat in your mouths…and that’s just not good parenting by papa blog.
Subjects to be covered…the ongoing tournament….Obama…Michelle Obama….Big Mac….Magic…Gran Torino…..
I’m starting with the normal blog stuff and finishing with the tourney…
First off…OBAMA…OBAMA…Celebrate good OBAMA…COME ON!!!
Ok well i’ve actually gotten over Obama fever way quicker than expected….because…oh wait…he’s appointed a bunch of corrupt people for ‘change we can believe in’ and his solution to his problem is…shrugging his shoulders and throwing money at it until the economy’s bill collectors stop calling his phone…his ultra top notch blackberry that stops spys from looking at him and can kill Putin with a few nifty key strokes.
(texts putin: Boom Bitch! you’re entire country is red now (with blood)….how’s some nostalgia taste!)
I don’t understand the concept of the bailout (actually i kind of do but am saying that to make a point) You are taking failing companies and giving them more money? They aren’t good at their jobs…when i have employees that aren’t good at their jobs…they either get fired or get no raise….I don’t go to them and say…oh shit…i don’t know why you can’t pay your bills…its not your poor work ethic or lack of skill…you’re a good person at heart…here….take my salary….no…they get nothing and get put on paper.
I call the current plan to save the economy the Obama Umbilical cord….
Because right now Obama has about 12 of them trailing out of his ass and whatever company gets near just plugs into one of them and writes down a dollar amount and that gets sucked out of papa Obama…except that papa Obama is being fed by Grandpa UNITED FUCKING STATES CITIZENS…
Here’s the problem…i can see how a bail out can be a temporary solution…BUT….don’t you feel like by doing that you are ‘stabilizing’ a ‘fake’ economy….that’s like families that have people hooked up to the heart and lung machines but referring to the relative as ‘alive’ if our economy never naturally bottoms out on its own what will happen?
I feel like we need to let it go for a bit…hit a natural bottom and rebuild…a tax cut wont help (america’s scared we’ll just save the rebate) a bail out wont help (our deficit grows and failing companies get a chance to fail twice as hard)….HIT FUCKING BOTTOM….America will always rebound…..any time we’ve faced adversity we’ve rebounded to be stronger than ever….Depression…WWII…just look at it…remember the groundswell of support we felt after 9/11???? We would remember we’re a country again and band together…we’d get through it…it may take longer but i would happen together…and in the long run we’d be better…
But for now the morphine drip continues….the heart and lung machine keeps pumping away…and us relatives just continue to hope ‘one day he’ll wake up’
Michelle Obama….Black Sigourney Weaver…seriously…looks just like her…
Good news! If alien attack happens…strip her down to a white tee…panties and a flame thrower and we’ll be good to go…beat that FRANCE!
Jay McGwire…What a piece of shit…he ratted his brother out for using steroids….
I don’t care if my brother killed hookers and stole from children for a living…guess what no one would find out through me…because he’s my fucking brother!
Nothing could hurt worse than that….My parents could disown me and somehow get me thrown in jail for having burned CDs….I could get thrown out of my Apt. and fired in the same day and that wouldn’t be half as bad as if my brother ratted me out…
What the fuck!
I’m not on Mark’s side with steroids…we know you’ve done them and you didn’t admit…you’re quite a large POS…but Jay is atleast 20 Couric’s heavier (according to the south park scale where a couric is the standard measuring weight of shit based on the weight of katie couric) than him.
Ok so your brother hit a bunch of HRs because he had a bowl of HGH every morning…and some back acne to wash it down….he’s not getting in the HOF anyways….so not only did you rat out your bro you kicked him when he was down…
Jay…i hope you get fired from Costco tomorrow when your boss finds out…
Next subject…
I don’t believe in magic…which is crazy…because i DO believe in the internet…
I could not tell you in a 100 word…10000000 word essay how the internet works..FUCK!
I type in words and next thing i know an entire moving…breathing fucking website appears….how?!?!
Obviously by the power of Oden and Thor… (fondles Thor hammer around neck)
Seriously…does anyone want to explain to me how i have an entire planet of information and a universe worth of porn at my fingertips at any given time
David Copperfield makes a plane disappear and i’m like “BULLSHIT…magic’s not real!”
But i type any couple words i want into this device and it appears before me in seconds and that’s feasable…
i bet if you went back and time and compared the two…it would be much more likely that David Blane was a real deal wizard Vs. the internet being real…
The internet would be getting burned at the stake…or having rocks tied to it and thrown in the river to see if it was a witch or not..
To people that have see Gran Torino…
Do you now question everything Clint Eastwood says?
Seriously, I liked him before (the movie was awesome by the way don’t be swayed not to see it by anything that follows the end of these parentheses unless i say ‘go see it’) but after this movie i can’t look at him and not think he’s racist…becuase i’m pretty sure he co-wrote it…or i atleast know he directed it….Clint Eastwood spouted more racist shit than i had heard in 20 years of movie going in a 2 hour span…. he referred to black people as spooks….SPOOKS…that is some old school…deep seeded ass racism….He called an asian a ‘slope’ no idea…anyone care to let me in on a racist ass secret….damn Clint…calm the fuck down…he seriously would sling around racists names about 10 per scene…’zipperhead’ probably the most said…but the cool thing was he verbally bitch slapped the white guy too….so i guess that was Clint’s attempt at…hey i’m not racist…see?!?!…i just like to say words that wound people…
You know what’s sad…i trust print a lot more than TV….it’s sad because most of the time people that had the opportunity to appear on TV for the most part should be ‘experts’ but every time i read something in print i feel like i have some kind of insider information….’oh shit…i heard…blah blah blah…and that shit’s the truth…I READ THAT SOMEWHERE!’ And i’m not even joking…as much as i think this blog is a joke…if i read another blog and it said according the CNN the world is flat…and gave some link to a blank page…i’d think…holy shit…it is flat…and the government blocked the page……oh my god…my government isn’t honest….or um…i mean…even less honest than originally thought.
Ok this i getting quite long….and i have the night off…so here’s the deal…this is my random Bullshit…and later in the day i will post a second blog with just tourney coverage…guess what…215 vs. Injury will take place on top of FFX towers and Billy Mays Will Fight Vince the Shamwow! guy…
Peace out yo!
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