Our Grandparents Think We’re Pussies
I am currently broke. In fact, I’m so good at it that I’ve made my checking account change colors! See when you have being broke down to an art form they reward you for some reason by changing your balance to a nice bright red color. So I’ve been stressing about money a little bit fuck ton. Driving cars and living in houses tend to be pretty important things. However, when I started thinking about it, our grandparents have to think we are giant pussies.
I’m broke, but i’m currently typing on a portable computer which is wirelessly connected to the magic all knowing entity known as the Internet. While i’m doing this I am watching a color TV show on a HD big screen using a device that allows me to pause live TV.
Old people? They paid for an ICE MAN…a fucking ICE MAN. You know what that means. They had to budget their fucking ICE! Like if they enjoyed too many ice teas on Monday, they may have to wait an entire week for more.
I get pissed when my ice machine on the fridge doesn’t work, or if the ice trays (that we also have in addition to the machine in case it breaks) are empty.
I unleash profanity laden tirades at my TV screen while getting sniped playing an online shooter, or lose a game of basketball on XBOX (i mean come on KOBE, how can you go 3-23 from the field, guess that’s why you got swept). But when my grandparents or an old person see one of these games on the TV it takes about 5 minutes of convincing that this is not reality, its a video game. And then they just stand there, head cocked to the side mouth open in utter amazement. But this isn’t too surprising. These are the people that were mesmerized by the game of pong. Two white blocks, and a dot going back and forth. People would fucking line up, waiting their turn to play a game where a yellow circle with a slice of pizza missing eats white dots in a maze, and if he found the bright flashing one he can temporarily eat his arch nemesis…ghosts? and in his spare time eat some fruit. What the FUCK were video games back then? And how high were the people that created them.
Basically, I guess old people know how to appreciate all these wonders of modern wizardry better than us.
Have you ever seen an old person with a dirty car? The answer is no, not unless they have a completely debilitating condition. Even then, at least the interior will be spotless. They treat their cars like fucking magic space chariots from the future. That’s why they take so long to get started up. They have a launch sequence to pull out of the driveway like its a take off from god damn Cape Canaveral. Seat belt..check, mirrors…check, A/C, volume…They are the ONLY person to drive the car, but you’d think with all the adjustments they make, they lend the shit out non-stop. Which we all know isn’t true. Getting the opportunity to drive a grandparent car, is a completely foreign thing, it doesn’t even feel like you’re driving a car anymore. Because of the care they put into it, you almost start believing that it really is this future machine of wonder. The most stressful drive…by far, of my life, has been driving my granddad’s car around the block. I couldn’t take to drive it any further I was just too afraid to mess something up.
Old people dress like everyday is a formal event. When I have a day (or possibly even TWO) off chances are I’m wearing a t-shirt and some gym shorts for both days. I mean I’ll change the shirt, but unless I’m going out to a bar or something that’s about as formal as I get at home. Old people? Its button downs, sweaters, slacks, and dress shoes. And this is done to read the newspaper!
I don’t know, I just feel like although life sort of sucks right now. At least i wasn’t around in the 30s or 40s when we were trying to keep Nazis from taking over the world, recovering from the great depression, and getting our thrills from playing marbles, and maybe seeing a girl’s ankles every once in a while.
Now we have the great opportunity of being in a world showing signs of global economic collapse, wars against an enemy that can’t really be defined, high unemployment rates…
Fuck, i guess its about the same…the problems are still there, we just get access to them quicker. But on the plus side…tits, we get to see way more tits.
You’re Welcome
