Rudy’s Nocturnal Admissions

So TV huh?

Yeah…i know the baseball playoffs are on…but i would rather watch NFL Preseason re-runs  or perhaps Ben Stein reading instruction manuals before i’d flip that shit on TV…

What is great though are all the shows on these days…there are SO many ways for me to justify not getting back into shape….Well…i would but its Wednesday and new south parks and the ultimate fighter are on.  Oh Thursday…just forget it…i’m not even gonna tell you an excuse…i might miss a second of the ten shows i have lined up.

I found out though…that although i get excited to watch the ultimate fighter (which so far this season has beat Leno in one episode and the MLB playoffs the last episode) it is WAY better watching live for the network.  Because when its recorded…guess what happens…that’s right…Fast Forward to the last 10 minutes and just watch the fight….the way i see it i just bypassed 50 minutes of a gayer real world and get to the part where two of them beat the piss out of each other.

Speaking of Fast Forward….how about Flash Forward.  Great fucking show….but someone on the radio today said its  ”Lost Lite” .  My problem with that….what has lost done in the 20 years its been on other than just give you more questions…how much has the ACTUAL STORYLINE from season 1 advanced….I’d say not much.  

I don’t know what it is…but i can’t fucking quit McDonalds…those golden arches look like two giant middle fingers to my brain…but for some reason my heart just keeps going back….Its kind of like a trailer park relationship….Get beat…swear you’ll never do it again…and before you know it you’re watching Roseanne repeats with a bag of frozen peas on your eye.  

Now i don’t want to make it seem like i go ALL the time…but its the fact that i don’t really like their food but i keep coming back.  And i also don’t like the way they run their business but i’ll get to that in a second.  I only go to McDonalds between 1am and 7am.  The breakfast is awesome…and its drunk food is awesome…and i’ve gotten to be a pro with ordering food through a drive-thru from a cab.

However…if you go at about 330 which isn’t out of the question for me…i believe that is when they switch over to breakfast…McDonalds don’t try to get high and mighty on me now and try to dictate what is that appropriate meal to eat…Last time i checked your breakfast menu had breakfast meats, and eggs, sandwiched between syrup injected pancakes. So really i don’t think its right of you to try and force meal choices on me.  Plus for the most part things are either just nuked or deep fried….I don’t think to myself…YES i got there right as the breakfast hours kicked in…now i’ll get the fresh shit…I’m just thinking…its gonna take forever because they are still lugging all that shit out of the freezer and getting everything ready.  Am i really throwing you in that much of a loop to ask for fried potatoes sliced into sticks Vs. sliced potatoes shaped like an oval and rectangle bastard child?  Because i’m pretty sure there isn’t a prep cook back there slicing away at potatoes going FUCK! now i gotta change all this shit up because of one order.  You already have the inventory there….just toss it in the fryer and give me my god damn chicken McNuggets….Stop ruining the american dream McDonalds!

You know what is sure to get me every year though…FUCKING MONOPOLY…..i always save the pieces like i give a shit..but sure enough a couple weeks later i forget about it…and i just see random properties floating across the room like tumbleweed.  But i can’t help it!  How can you combine a great american board game AND the great american homeless game known as the Lottery and NOT expect me to play…Fuck you McDonalds….(but let it be known that the Hashbrowns are the best value…they are like a buck and you get your two properties out of it…you’re welcome)

Me and JMU Mike had what we thought was a brilliant scheme in college.  We would order large waters and get the fucking properties…WIN!  However…one day we got a little too ballsy and every time afterwards our plan was ruined….Who would thought if you ordered 6 waters they would catch on.  So we looked in horror as the manager leaned over the drive thru worker and handed us our 6 waters…in water cups…without monopoly tickets….FOILED AGAIN!

Speaking of JMU Mike

Everytime i get a time estimate from JMU Mike i feel like i’m going down the rabbit hole….i gotta jump through all these hoops to get to where i’m supposed to be going and then i finally get there and nothing fucking makes sense anyways!  Replace invisible fucking cats, and mad hatters with these things….One hour visits…inexpicable exits….and head scratchers such as this scenario

Me:mike can you bring some beer?  

Mike: i only have a few

Me: well we bought the case we just need a few more in case we run out…

Mike: I’ll be down in a few

….time passes and mike shows up with a quarter handle of Whiskey and about a liter of old Giant Cola.

Mike i don’t have a problem with this…however you need to alert us to your snap judgements…or ATLEAST yell WILDCARD!  Its always sunny in philly style.

As for the other mike?

Pockets multiple times has tried to take credit for things listed on texts from last night…i thought he was so clever for saying that he’s not addicted to anything he’s just “habitually passionate”…..well that’s interesting because here is what texts from last night had to say

TFLM: I wouldn’t necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I’m habitually passionate.

For Shame Pockets!  FOR SHAME!

Wanna know how to feel emasculated?  Order a “Tic-Tac” at TGI Friday’s while your girlfriend is ordering a beer and then correct that waitress when the drinks are brought out…oh yeah…the beers not mine….the red bull orange vodka shooter?  ALL ME!  See i like red bull vodkas…so i thought….red bull vodka but with a less harsh taste…for $5?!?  Count me in!  However…i didn’t know it was going to arrive as a shooter and as my girlfriend sipped her star hilll wheat beer (a classy and knowledgeable choice) I’m stuck dropping a shot into my half filled glass of red bull like some sorority girl.

So i went to oktoberfest…and got to wear a silly bright green hat and freeze to death my last weekend off…this weekend…carving pumpkins and dressing up in medieval gear for the annual renaissance festival!