Rudy’s Nocturnal Admissions

My Blog’s full of so much shit it needed to get a shunt put in to keep it running.

Off Yourself: US Soccer Team

Seriously, none of us give a shit about your team.  Then you do something great (like beat Spain) to get everyone interested…play competitively with Brazil…but blow dick in Mexico…Again…We have a 74 year losing streak in the country of Mexico….They once chanted Osama Bin Laden’s name during a game.  And we just lay back and take it.  The only things Mexico should consistently beat us in are: Poverty Levels, Letters in their alphabet, and Swine Flu cases. Lets just implode the team…disband the MLS and just take the extra money to make the Bengals and Lions good.  Because all Soccer does in the US is serve as a let down.

So i read an article that says the other great threat that goes with the increase in carbon emission is Ocean Acidification.  They said that the ocean’s acidity has doubled since the Industrial Revolution and that it is primed to cause many shellfish to go extinct (all according to USA Today).  Now…let me ask this question…if it has doubled since the Industrial Revolution…then show me the huge amount of shellfish species that have been wiped out because of it….So my point is…unless the ocean is going to SUDDENLY double its acidity…then shut the fuck up.  Because there is this thing called adaptation…and if the change is gradual…there is a TON of time to reverse the trends before whole species are actually affected.  The thing i think of to kind of support their argument would be slowly boiling a lobster in water….its fine if you increase it a degree at a time…then before you know it…its dead…well that’s the thing though. Don’t act like we are going to wake up in a couple years and all the shellfish are going to be shell less and dead (though can you think of the implications of shellfish not having shells!  Its awesome!  Great seafood but without the work?  Sign me up…i’m just going to back my car up to the ocean and leave the fucking engine running in hopes of softshell crabs and lobsters crawling out).  

So i was watching the documentary “Jesus Camp” and its all about these crazy people that run a camp where at one point they bless a cardboard cut out of George Bush….Pray in tounges….and declare war not only on every other religion but also other christians that aren’t as bat shit crazy as them.  Some little girl is handing out religious pamphlets to “whoever god tells her to” and is all happy as she has an awkward overly excited exchange with a random chick in the bowling alley.  Another kid is already doing sermons…he’s like 8.  And has a rat tail that’s about 8 inches….That right there should be enough to know he’s gone the wrong way.  If god is behind EVERY SINGLE DECISION/EVENT that happens in his life…then God must hate him…because i don’t think a just God would let a kid walk around with such a huge fucking rat tail.

Also, this fat bitch that leads the group talks about how she envies how Muslims are able to preach Jihad and train kids to become suicide bombers.  At one time she actually says “I wish that christianity in the US had this same sort of passion”.  Wow….yeah…that’s what we are missing in America….kids blowing themselves up so they can take out people without the same beliefs as them….Nothing more american if you ask me…

Pockets Jokes:

For the last time pockets NO we cannot use The Wiggles Live to “get the party started”

Everyone tune into Nick Jr. we taped pockets getting ready for work he should be on Yo Gabba Gabba this afternoon.

Remember when you’re with Pockets at the pool not to let him swim until 30 minutes have passed after his last snack.

Ant…its your turn to pack a week’s worth of Pockets’ lunches for his trip next week….and if you give him more than 3 cookies for desert…you get to deal with him until the sugar buzz crashes

I was going to go out tonight…but its SO HARD to find a good sitter for Pox on a friday night

For the last time pockets I WILL NOT play Hi Ho Cherry-Oh with you

Pockets! no more Capri Suns if you can’t stop from poking holes all the way through it.

Shit!  Ant…its Pockets’ turn to bring snacks…Can you pick up some Star Crunches from Giant?

Pockets uses one of those hooded sesame street towels when he gets out of the shower.

Pockets got in a fight last weekend and lost a tooth….it was such a pain in the ass leaving the dollar underneath his pillow

Pockets, you might as well give up on the vegtables…despite what your mom told you…you’re not gonna grow.

The crazy guy next door was lecturing his imaginary friend about how they: “never slept on a floor, never brought orange slices after games, never bled on the court, never stacked the chairs, that’s why they are a bull shit fucking faggot factory”