Rudy’s Nocturnal Admissions

No bernie mac is not coming back from the grave to star in a sequel to the oscar-snubbed mr. 3000.  That’s right folks…i’ve got 6,000 hits now….it may have taken a while, but its crazy to think that this thing has been read 6,000 times….even if about 5,900 of those are from my fairfax towers crew.

You know what else is crazy…i’m still sad bernie mac died….i think when comedians and entertainers die it hits people harder because those are the people that lift you up.  People that make your days better…people stopped being sad when politicians die after JFK…because now we all know the government can’t do shit for us anyways…back then the media was less rabid and so respected keeping the president this superhero-like person.  So it was a big shock when he died (not to mention the fact that it happened in the middle of a crowded parade) because he had all these hopes for change.  Now we know…they are more of just a figure head for the government…congress holds everything up and no matter who is president there isn’t really shit that can be done unless they just all up decide they are tired of being corrupt and have grinch like moments where their hearts grow all overly large n shit and they stop cheating on their wives with Argentinean e-mail buddies they’ve been talking to for years….

Now i know he’s not a congressman but holy fuck is the South Carolinian governor a retard.  He just leaves for a week (during father’s day…great fathering…i’m pretty sure his kids all smashed the shitty #1 dad mugs they had ready, and mom hung herself with the tie she was going to give him)  doesn’t tell his family…doesn’t tell any of his advisors…and says “eh, the state’s basically on autopilot anyways..who will notice?”   If you are going to leave…atleast leave an excuse behind…his aides were scrambling….uhhh…he’s camping?  He’s on the Appalachian trail?  (by the way…what a horrible excuse…who was the genius that came up with that one first…and who are the retard co-workers that all agreed on it because they couldn’t come up with a better idea).  Then the dumbass Mr. Governor himself decides to address it….oh i was going to go on the trail but decided on something a little more exotic…Argentina….the only way that the Appalachian trail and Argentina have anything in common is the fact that they both start with the letter ‘A’.  Oh, and i REALLY don’t buy when he said “I spent 5 days with my head in my hands crying”.  Yeah, i’m sure that’s how it went…why didn’t you fly back early then?  Oh, that’s right because you were railing your south american e-mail buddy…that makes more sense…if you’re fucking all day, drinking and hitting the beach…i wouldn’t want to go back either….I will say though…i’m guessing he probably hasn’t cheated on his wife before, because the way he handled this scenario was fucking amateur hour.  

Jon and Kate got divorced…surprise surprise….See….Kate’s a bitch…they didn’t even need to put a reason for divorce down on the paper.  I think Jon just has to submit a montage of the show where Kate is acting especially bitchy…and guess what…no money paid by jon….guess who’s keeping everything?  If you guessed Kate you’re a retard…good lord does she suck.

So obviously i can’t get through this blog without addressing yesterday’s shocking events…

That’s right…Mike…JMU MIKE! Why the fuck are you going to take the time to make a fake TGI Friday’s coupon and then be so apprehensive about using it…I told you about 50 times it looked legit…you had the stripes and logo on it…don’t worry from there you are golden…unless in fine print you put…do not accept this coupon because i made it in photoshop.

So since we were at friday’s…we drank alot last night…carried the party over to 215…listening to a lot of Michael Jackson…oh yeah he died by the way…figured i’d break the story right here…RIGHT NOW.

Anyways…i knew i drank alot because when i woke up i had this burning sensation all over my body….ahhhh shame….how i missed your warm embrace.  Apparently at one point i told Ant that he could shave my head if i passed my interview…(sorry to break it to you buddy…that’s not happenin)

You know how you know someone had an impact with their life….1) when they’ve molested children but no one cares  2) when people are happy instead of sad.  Everywhere in the mall you could hear MJ playing…people dancing to his songs…singing along….it was cool to see.  It was a celebration of his life…and even if you hate him because of what he supposedly was guilty of…you can’t doubt the fact that he was an awesome entertainer and made some great music (dip top ah dip top JAAAAM!) 

aaaand farrah fawcett died?  Crazy…not much i can say there…i wasn’t going through puberty in her peak of stardom.  I’m sure in the era before internet porn teenage boys needed no store bought adhesive to get those posters on the wall….

Strangest pick-up attempt on a girl i’ve heard of :  ”Can i paint your face on a vase…we paint pictures of beautiful women on vases in my country”

Hey check out this blog while you’re already procrastinating and not getting work done….  fionaasshole.wordpress.com