A procrastinator’s version of current events and such
So remember back last week when the old dude shot up the holocaust museum…yup…i haven’t posted a blog in a while…so you get to start with that.
…i’ll wait for the pouting and sighs…
So this guy is over 80 years old and has managed for over 80 years to foster an extreme hatred for the jews…and belong to hate groups…the whole 9. Now i just want to see where in these groups there is a provision FOR child porn… because seriously…when his computer was searched that shit was all over it…. I don’t know when your thought process says…screw the jews they are inferior…i don’t like their food…fuck their sideburns….and they run hollywood…but lets hear it for fucking children! And that’s not an enthusiastic…FUCKIN’ CHILDREN HELL YEAH THEY RULE….that’s fucking children…as in…in the ass…..that’s some fucked up shit when you can justify that but says Israel doesn’t need to exist…
Also, when do you get up in the morning and say to yourself….i think i’m going to start hating a group of people today…do you think its on their list of things to do? What i mean by that is…you know how you do your last minute check for your wallet and keys….or you know how you think you have forgotton your keys and you do that way too hectic grab for your pocket only to find they were there for the whole time? Is that how hating jews is…oh shit…wait…did i remember to hate the jews? Oh…that’s right…the holocaust didn’t exist.
Did you know that a court decision has been passed that says prisoners now do not have access to evidence that could potentially free them? Yeah, that’s right….an Alaska court ruled that they don’t have the right to it…eventhough DNA evidence has freed scores of convicted rapists….the way it has been says that you have to say under oath that you are innocent (i’m guessing the reason is they don’t want some sick fucks getting access to the evidence of their crimes…just because they get off on it). I just don’t get it…doesn’t this just say we want people held behind bars that don’t deserve it…doesn’t it just say we don’t trust our own justice system? Because if they were in there for the right reasons…then fuck it…give them access to anything they need….maybe it’ll give em a way to kill some time….here’s something that could be done….so that courts aren’t flooded with unnecessary cases….if you got anything less than the maximum sentence…if you are found guilty a second time…your existing term is upped to the maximum sentence….if you already have the max sentence it is doubled…unless its life…if its life in prison..then guess who wins? The electric chair…
There you have solved both problems…people that know they are free are going to go through with it…those that think they can pull one over on us…fuck you…enjoy more prison…
Why hold innocent people behind bars…using much needed tax payer money…when we could release them (INNOCENT FUCKING PEOPLE) to spend more money and revive this economy…Also, why keep holding non-violent (drug offenders…unless they are massive dealers) behind bars..good job…johnny smoked a shit load of pot and now’s he’s in jail…the only thing you’ve protected are some hostess products from being demolished…which goes towards THE ECONOMY ANYWAYS! Just fine the shit out of them…upgrade the cop cars and have a good fucking time…you don’t need to lock them up.
An ode to pockets…
Fuckin’ POCKETS MAN! Seriously this dude puts up more shit than anyone i know…and for a bullshit reason…He keeps racking up awards at work and all we can do is joke about how he has a sandbox next to his desk…and how he eats popsicles and gets them all over his mouth during his lunch breaks at the office….he’s using butterfly nets to catch his dreams….he gives himself bubble beards in the tub….but in actuality we all know he’s a grown ass man….Mike…we know you’re not pockets…but we’ve created this fictional character….everytime…well….most everytime i tell a pockets joke…it doesn’t refer to you at all…it refers to this pockets fella we created…
so mike…in closing i’m sorry….but thank you for being a good sport….i’ve got a shiny silver dollar with your name on it…
…..and maybe a holiday?
Side note: Whenever JMU mike and Pockets sit on the couch together i feel like i’m looking a bad Source review…One and a half Mikes!!! oooooohhhhh man i crack myself up
Did you hear about the mom that got fined 2.4 million dollars for 24 downloaded songs? That sucks…
no more commentary on that….just FUUUUUUCK…good luck with that.
So here’s a random bit (like the rest of my blog has organization)…recommended buys
There is a band called Street Sweeper Social Club…its Tom Morello Rage Against the Machine guitarist….and Boots Riley from “the coup” (underground hip-hop). Good shit…good shit indeed.
Ben Harper and Relentless 7 – White Lies for Dark Times….pretty good….the slow tracks are a little monotonous..but the faster stuff is awesome.
The Dead Weather – Jack White’s newest band…..the white stripes are awesome…the raconteurs are awesome…how bad can this band be?
I bet if you called transformers 2 ”Megan Fox with some robots n shit” it would make even more money
that’s it…
Davis said,
June 24, 2009 at 9:07 am
I think it just shows how deeply perverse people like that are — on many levels
cock217 said,
June 24, 2009 at 9:15 am
That blog was more of an emotional rollercoaster than the movie “UP”, which I didn’t think was possible. (I hope you just pictured Pockets watching that movie, because I sat next to him during it and he was just so darn cute with his 3-D glasses on giggling the whole time at the talking dogs and flying houses). In all seriousness though, Mike, you do deserve a medal for the crap you put up with. I’m surprised you haven’t hit one of us yet. Great blog Rudy!
Antsinyourpants said,
June 24, 2009 at 9:48 am
Pockets! Pockets! Pockets! Pockets!
The Al said,
June 24, 2009 at 10:27 am
Carlos not at the table. Look he is jacking his little baby dick.
Megabear said,
June 24, 2009 at 11:38 am
With regards to the DNA evidence thing…and how retarded this decision is:
Many people are ADVISED BY THEIR LAWYERS to plead guilty to a lesser offense. PLEAD GUILTY. Even if they are innocent. It’s the lawyer telling you that
1. He can’t get together a good enough defense to defend your innocence in front of a jury of people who aren’t bright enough of say the right thing to get out of jury duty in the first place or who have an agenda with their mind made up befroe the case is even heard and
2. The courts are jammed up and, if you just take the fall, the judge will show his appreciation by giving you a weaker sentence
(P.S. Don’t even get me started with how fucked up and asinine our system is)
This all means that you’re lying and taking a guilty plea for BAD REASONS (reference 1 & 2) and fucking yourself out of your liberty on a lawyer’s advice. In helping out the system by pleading out, you are repaid by the system by not being able to use available technology (that should be used by default anyway to correct errors of the State) and sitting in prison being treated as sex offenders are in there (badly, in case you didn’t know…the guilty ones for good reason…even cons have kids, mothers and sisters).
To reiterate, YOU ARE BEING ADVISED TO FUCK YOURSELF OVER AND LIE ON THE STAND, NOT TO CLEAR YOURSELF, BUT TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE THE PIECE OF SHIT SOMEONE IS ACCUSING YOU OF BEING! Just a slightly smaller piece of shit. Your reward for helping the system process the bullshit is FORFEITURE OF YOUR SHOT AT REDEMPTION AND JUSTICE. Nice, right?
Anywho, I hate to use your blog as a platform for this Rudy, but shit like that always strikes a nerve with me, so sorry for that emotional seepage, haha.
You get a golf clap for the 1 and a half Mikes joke. Useful shot, lad. Useful.
I must also say thank you to Mike Roberts for all the crap he puts up with. He’s a great sport…good kid…he’s our special boy! (choking up, holding back tears like a proud papa, realizing his child is growing up to be a real stand-up guy)
Just Jack said,
June 24, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Wow dude…get it out of your system! But its a good thing…very therapeutic. That and a bottle of Jack Daniels or whatever it is you kids drink these days!
When are we getting together to catch up on life and have a drink or 8?
Just Jack said,
June 24, 2009 at 12:19 pm
PS I keep missing the fact that you comment on my posts.
1. I do have better names in my blog that you do. Maybe becuase I’m more creative and naturally a better blogger?
2. Michelle Obama does look like a black Sigourney Weaver except better looking.
That is all. Continue on.
JJ
Antsinyourpants said,
June 24, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Time the hell out…..”Mike…we know you’re not pockets”. What?!
You are a liar and a thief Rudy. Pockets is real. Who else makes gun noises under the covers in the back room at night? Who else makes me get up at the butt crack of dawn to walk him to the bus stop?
Pockets is real! I’d die for this shit. Pockets4life!
Aarghh said,
June 24, 2009 at 3:20 pm
1) Thanks for all the back handed compliments on why we love Pockets (Me) in the blog and comments.
2) Sidenote on me being a grown up and work. Today one of my clients took me out for an expensive lunch and decided to do another deal with us because of “my great attention and customer service that I’ve shown them since becoming my client”
fionaasshole said,
June 24, 2009 at 10:34 pm
And when he takes you out to business lunches, its cheap because you order off the kids menu…OHHHH! I’m sorry! It was too easy! You are successful and worthy of admiration! A role model to us all!
nocturnalrudy said,
June 24, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Oh it was an expensive fancy meal you say?
1) was that because you were able to eat inside instead of just hitting the drive through
2) was it expensive because he bought you multiple happy meals so you could get all the toys?
3) Was it expensive because the company has to charge more to keep there animatronic band running?
4) Was it expensive because you are only used to eating serving sizes that amount to baggies…thus being low in cost?
5) Did you still have the client AFTER lunch when your “attention” was more vested in the ball pit than the client?
6) Did he renew after you made him some great lemonade for only a nickle
7) Was it expensive because you kept on throwing your food off the high chair so he had to keep ordering more for you?
Antsinyourpants said,
June 25, 2009 at 10:25 am
I wanted to say don’t toot your own horn but…the thought of you tooting on a little plastic recorder in music class just made me smile.
Hot crossed bunsss…hot crossed bunsss…
cock217 said,
June 25, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Look Pox, I called your office today and your secretary Brenda told me that everyone in your company receives this so called “Rookie of the Year” award after their first year. So I guess keep bringing home those green participation ribbons and we will keep pretending that we are really excited for you when really all you did was show up an hour late for work and play with matchbox cars the whole day….
Antsinyourpants said,
June 26, 2009 at 8:56 am
BOOM ROASTED